End of May and on into June (and things are looking brighter....)

Freedom's Just Another Word For Nothin' Left to Lose

I am quoting Janis Joplin (from 'Me and Bobby Magee').  That song is rattling around my head lately and when I listen to it, I cry.  I understand what the 'freedom' line means, it rings true with me since I left my old life behind.

Janis sang with such guts and passion, if I could play with half of what she sang with (plus good technique), I'd be very much sought after as a harpist in these parts.  I am trying.  But alas, sometimes I fall down.  I fell down on Monday last week in front of God and everybody.  Everybody means the punters and the guys to whom I look up to in the session.  As a result I spent a week battling the blues and indulging in feeling sorry for myself.  My confidence took a dive not only as a musician but in other ways too.  Someone I was really having feelings for revealed he has someone already and I made it worse by digging up memories of my ex and ruminating on them like old photographs.

I did continue to practice, but only half-heartedly and I got angry with  myself for every fumble and mistake.  I was not in a good place.

However, tonight, after I had a good cry, I got back up on that horse and practiced properly and with as much compassion for myself as I could muster.  Sometimes I think I am the bravest girl I know right now, 'cause I'm gonna go back to that session with my head held high and give 'em socks (my friend Angela's expression for giving it all you've got) this time.

New video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=okbHavP3leA

Cut and paste the above into browser to see and hear a bit of me playing at a local pub in a little documentary that my film-maker friend has made.  My harp music was also used in bits throughout.  It is only a rough cut for now so I am not allowed to share it on facebook or anything like that yet.

New tunes:

The Castle Jig / Dancing Eyes  I'm almost there with both of them, got them on the fiddle, too now.

Many pots on the stove!

Last night at the session at the Roadside I got some good advice from harper and fiddle player Paul Dooley.   I was commenting on the fact that I did indeed have several more tunes on the fiddle but that they were all still 'cooking'.  I likened it to many pots on the stove, some closer to being cooked than others, but none of them quite session ready yet.

He said that was actually the best way to learn rather than just one tune at a time.  We were talking about fiddle, but I imagine the same would apply to harp or any instrument.  His advice was have ten tunes you are working on, then once a week (or a month?  I forget!) drop one.  Drop the one you are really comfy with and add a new one.  Some of the ten tunes will be brand new, some could be ones you used to play and need to re-learn, some are in different stages of being learned (cooked!).  This uses different parts of the brain and the learning process.  Also, with every new tune you learn, it makes it easier to learn the next tune.  It may not feel like it, but it is true because there are only so many shapes and patterns that just get repeated on different strings etc.

Last night I took my harp to Gus O'Connors Pub in Doolin at the request / invitation of one of the Monday session guys (See boring picture above of my harp before anyone else arrived).  I did alright this time.  Yay me.  I was thrilled to be playing alongside some of my favorite guys again (plus two terrific gals) and do you know what was said to me after I finished my big solo set?  (It wasn't supposed to be a solo set, but they ended up listening and not playing along.) My friend turned to me and said, "We were just discussing you, and we like you!  You have such a lovely energy coming off of you as a person.  And it's so nice that you actually get nervous!"  I was floored.  Sometimes, it just pays to be yourself and try your hardest.  People will decide whether they accept you or not, so may as well just be you.

I had another fantastic night last night at Fitz's Pub in Doolin.  I was hardly nervous at all, did a solo air (Lament For Limerick) that quieted a noisy crowd and got some very nice compliments from the guys and the punters alike, including Luka Bloom (sorry, name dropping!) who said not only can he tell that I love playing my harp, he notices that I am getting better and more confident!  He also gave me this piece of advice:  "What anyone else thinks of you is none of your business.  Let it go and get in your zone and just play.  It's very freeing."

I also did a solo hornpipe "Nellie Your Favour" and even played along (melody) on a couple of tunes the guys started up including Cooley's Hornpipe which was the one I had messed up so badly a couple weeks ago.  One of the guys remembered that I had played it before.  He gave me a big smile and a thumbs up when the set was over.  Also I am now able to figure out (most of the time) what key stuff is in.

I had a bit of a panic when 5 taxi drivers did not answer their phones and a sixth one said yeah he'd come get me (at double the cost of the normal rate) at 3:00 am when he was done his Ennis run!  It was too late to ask any of the musicians for a lift as they had all left by the this time.  I ended up getting a ride from a hippie guy and his friend who loved the session and the harp.  Yeah don't take rides from strangers, I know!  But I had a body guard with me, John a young backpacker who is staying at Boghill for a while, he is over 6 foot and strong, so it was safe enough, I gather.  We squished into the backseat with my harp across our laps.  We got home safely.

Adventures in harping!!

Caislean An Oir 
Have you ever decided to re-learn a tune in a different key?  I never wanted to do that, ever as it seemed an awful lot of time spent when I could be learning a new tune.  I learned Caislean An Oir in Am (I think?!), anyway the first note is an A.  But I am now re-learning it in Gm because that is the key that most folks around here play it in.  It does sound really nice in Gm,  (On the fiddle it is a bit tricky because of the F and C naturals and B flats)

I am going to play it in a set with Planxty Burke (also F and C nat's and B flats), they sound really good together.  I like to go from an O'Carolan piece or an air or even a song (I don't sing!) into a dance tune, it's really nice to do that sometimes.

Another good night in Doolin  A couple good (great!) nights actually!,  On Sunday I went to the Doolin Folk Festival and had a whopping fantastic time!  So many great acts, including harpist Florianne Blacke who is so good!  I went on my own but found loads of people to hang out with, some were people I already was friends with and then there were new friends made as well.

On Monday it was back to Fitz's Pub and I played my barndances with my friend Adam who learned them from me, and I got loads of compliments and such after.

Paddy Fahey's  Yes there are a load of tunes by Paddy Fahey that have no name other than 'Paddy Fahey's' but I just learned one of the reels in G.  It's the first track on Martin Hayes' 'The Lonesome Touch'.  Now what tune to put it with......?

Gus O'Connors Again