In harp news - well - I am not playing. I am a mess. A total wreck. I've had several conversations with people about the musical hiatus. It is almost entirely because of my other work, I think, which is a vocation about which I feel even more intensely than music. Music is meant to be -- you know -- my happy thing, no pressure, all fun. So. The end is in view for my writing project, at least, let us hope a temporary end while the agent decides they DO want to try to sell it to a publisher for me. If that happens there will be another round of serious work, I'm sure.
So that is my life. If I were younger I think I would have more energy to play more at the end of a day of writing. But as I am I just want to lay about at the end of the day and watch a BBC mystery and go to bed.
The weather is still disgusting. So disgusting I am genuinely depressed, as in weepy, when I look out the window or think about getting all those damned winter clothes on to walk the dog. 99% snow cover. Ice. Misery. They aren't even sugaring yet - the temps rise to the right combination for a day or two and then plunge back down, so the sap isn't running.
Don't be so hard on yourself Lucy! I can't imagine sitting down to write at the end of a day of playing music. You can't do everything. But maybe you could set aside just one hour or even just a half hour to sit down and tune the harp and run through a few tunes. If you then find you feel energized, keep on playing; if not, then at least you have done a half an hour.
ReplyDeleteAlso I am sorry you are feeling so down. Spring is bound to make an appearance soon! I find as long as I have *something* social or musical to look forward to I can get through the long cold winter days and nights.
I know - but it hasn't happened yet. Just looked through my older journals, and the reality is, this is how Vermont is in late March - a few teaser days here and there in the forties, followed by brutal return to winter norms. On April 15, right on schedule, the first wood frogs (preceding spring peepers) start making a racket in the ponds and swamps -- so I really only have 3 weeks to go.
ReplyDeleteYour advice is sound about the tuning and the half hour. Even tuning and not playing is better than nothing - just in case as some other moment you do feel like playing. Then it is ready.
Only three weeks to go Lucy, you can do it!
ReplyDeleteFor me it isn't the weather that gets me down, it is the waves of grief that still come crashing in. They happen less often now and they are not always tsunamis like they once were, but they still come and I have to push through, keep on going, and remember what I am grateful for, which is a huge amount.
Lucy, isn't it amazing that only we in the northeast have had a real winter this year? The rest of the country is burning up already, or will be soon!! Maybe we should be rejoicing with each icy blast!! At least you are still finding fun musical things to experience! Maybe you just need to set the harp aside for awhile, and come back to it refreshed. The last thing we need is to add guilt to the mix!! Picture yourself in a few months, under a shade tree, iced tea at the ready, soft breezes playing the strings before you touch them, and then, MAGIC happens!! Oh joy, oh bliss, oh sweet delight. I love playing outdoors, just for myself, and see what nature adds to the mix! I had an owl join in one day, a turtle clumped on by another, and my puppy dogs love to sit under me when I play anyway! Spring is COMING!!!@♡♡♡♡♡
ReplyDeleteLucy, isn't it amazing that only we in the northeast have had a real winter this year? The rest of the country is burning up already, or will be soon!! Maybe we should be rejoicing with each icy blast!! At least you are still finding fun musical things to experience! Maybe you just need to set the harp aside for awhile, and come back to it refreshed. The last thing we need is to add guilt to the mix!! Picture yourself in a few months, under a shade tree, iced tea at the ready, soft breezes playing the strings before you touch them, and then, MAGIC happens!! Oh joy, oh bliss, oh sweet delight. I love playing outdoors, just for myself, and see what nature adds to the mix! I had an owl join in one day, a turtle clumped on by another, and my puppy dogs love to sit under me when I play anyway! Spring is COMING!!!@♡♡♡♡♡
ReplyDeleteI just found this comment - thanks so much. It's the first time since I began playing the harp that I just don't want to play. Concertina is off and on too. Feels very strange. But that is just what is happening.
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