A Cold in the Cold!

Lucy, your last post just read my heart!  How can you not find time or energy for something you love so much to do??  That is a question I ask myself all the time!  I am distracted, unfocussed.  What do I really want to do with my music?  I would love to teach- only dedicated students.  Perform?  Sort of!  Volunteer in a Hospice/ hospital situation?  Yes, but do I really want to spend the time and money involved to get the official okey dokey to do that, when I feel I could just read a really good book or two, and do a really good job, even without the certificate??  Play for my own enjoyment sounds nice, but there are so many wonderful recorded pieces of music by wonderful soloists or ensembles I really enjoy listening to already, and can "do" other things while I listen!  Learn new tunes? Absolutely.  Retain them forever??  Even better!!  I have harp lust, but why buy another harp if the 2 I have are not played nearly enough?  Where has the initial enthusiasm gone- when I started lessons all those 10-15 years ago, I was not distracted, unfocussed, unmotivated.  I was also younger.  But even though there is always an argument to be made that I SHOULD be doing x, y, or z instead of "playing around" with the harp, I have certainly invested enough time and energy in the harp so far that it should merit special time on its own.  Is it the weather?  Could be.  Wasn't a problem at the beginning, but...  definitely harder to keep the harps happy and humidified, while not spoiling them too much to take out to other venues that may be much drier/colder/hotter/wetter... And the bottom line is, I really do love playing and performing on the harp.  So what is the real problem here?

I think I get most excited when collaborating with other musicians- harpists or otherwise.  Different abilities, insights, sounds.  Kind of like belonging to my book club encourages me to read things I may never have chosen myself.  The ensuing discussions may make the book even more valuable, with different perspectives voiced.  I think Andee is living the musical life I would really love to get involved in- but perhaps, not if it entails mucking thru all this snow and ice!  Back to the weather!

I know that learning by ear, a new tune gets under my fingers faster, stays with me longer, and is easier to pick back up again.  So I have been scrounging around on Youtube, etc to find tunes that I really love and want to play.  But for some reason, doing basically the same thing with Sue Richards in Lubec in August is so much easier!  Is it the teacher part that makes the biggest difference?  I know that when I was teaching harp, it helped me to focus myself on better tone and hand position, etc.  and when I take lessons, or attend workshops, the extra motivation to soak it all up and be accountable to the teacher is an energizer in itself.

So, I have friends in Maine who have managed to find other harpists to join and become a harp circle.  I wish I could get the few harpists in the (relatively) local area interested in even just playing duets with me! So far, no takers.  Everybody is too busy.  On overload.  Distracted.  Exhausted.  I am so envious of Pamela's collaboration with her very talented husband.  They have a magical sound when they play together, and a very fun stage presence!  And don't even need to leave the house!!

So- is it the weather, or just the state of things in general at this time of our lives?  I do have lots of other competing interests, as well as responsibilities.  Are we just all on overload?  Too many choices??  AARRGGH!!  I wish we all lived closer together- I would love to meet you all in person!
Drink some tea, play some tunes, knit and/or spin a few rounds, sigh...and really chat!

Well, I am going to end with comments I received from Pam after I played at the last coffee house- that I just seem so much more relaxed and like I am enjoying being up there.  I have been continuing to work on the mind set I talked about in my last post (I think) and am happy the results are this good.  So there is hope!!

Stay warm, safe, well, and musical!  Love you all- Sharon