Lucy Ponders Performance Anxiety

So yes, this is the day I have a tiny concert, really just a gathering of friends and a few extras, but even that seems to push my nervous buttons.  I find it ONLY applies to playing completely solo.  Provided I am playing with someone else and know that I know the tunes, I can do pretty well, unless it is a room full of total strangers.....   Another thing that happens is that I'll start out great and at the very moment I think, I'm doing OK! then I mess up.  But how to keep from having that thought?

One idea I've had lately that seems to help and perhaps I've mentioned it is that I do think I've put myself in the role of having to 'hold up' the music, instead of trusting the music itself and letting it hold me up as I play.  I've been trying to keep that thought in mind when I play with others at a session , or someone asks me to start a tune.  Also reminding myself that even the simplest tune is beautiful and so what if we have all played Fanny P. a million times, a million more wouldn't be too many, would it?  It's funny to think that I get sort of stuck on myself - I feel so humble about the music in general, but that is the point, the music itself is wonderful and amazing all I have to do is go with it, let it happen, right????

Sunday April 14 - The concert is later today...... have to tune, have to tidy myself up..... I'll run through the tunes once or twice but that will be IT. Will post later.
LATER.  It went extremely well!  And a fun session afterwards.
Monday April 15 - Worked on Tailor's Twist  - ah I see you play it with Cooley's, so I'll get on that too - I'm a bit lost now that the concert is done.
Tuesday April 16 - Our spring class with Hilari and Benedict starts "Music of County Clare"  Harooo!!!  This means that I will probably be mostly playing the concertina as I desperately try to learn new tunes in time for class.  At least two per week.  Often, since the fam aren't too keen on the 'tina I use the harp to learn the melody.   It's all by ear Pam - H & B make CD's for us, playing the tune medium and slow, and then with examples of how others play the tunes.  Very cool.
Wednesday April 17-  My husband's birthday and guests coming and all sorts of folderol.  Practice of any kind highly unlikely.
Thursday April 18 - I'm working on The Tailor's Twist and I got Cooley's out - I almost had that one nailed down a few years ago and then dropped it.  I'm kind of distracted at the moment because we got a new kitten today!!!!!!  Ernie.  He is a 'tuxedo' cat and has chosen the black piano as his 'safe' place.
Friday April 19-  Today besides playing with Ernie and doing the things I was supposed to do (but not all of them) I also had to spend time learning my new class tunes, Duangare Castle (Fling) and Kitty O'Mahoney (hornpipe)....  As I often do, I'm learning the melodies first on the harp then I'll go out to my studio (unless everyone goes out) to practice the tunes on the c'tina.  
Saturday April 20 -