November is my month....

Greetings!!  Where did October go?  Well, I spent the last two weeks of it on the road as I drove slowly down to Asheville,NC and the South East Harp Conference.  Mind you, I was doing this as a once in a life time experience, in my new little car that just fits the harp in the back seat and has a very generous trunk and good gas mileage.  Visited friends and family on the way down and back.  Had a blast!  The conference was overwhelmingly overwhelming.  I have never done Somerset, so had no real idea what to expect.  I think this one is a bit smaller, and I had never been to Asheville, so I thought it was doable on many levels.  Really, getting to be with so many other students of both sexes and all ages (though, over 55 seems to be the largest demographic!) was fun and inspiring.  The workshops were challenging- I had three with the "force of nature" known as Deborah Henson Conant!!!  Two with Kim Robertson.  One with Maire Ni Chasthasig(God, I cannot spell her name!  So sorry, all you Gaelic speakers!)  Overwhelming.  Still processing.  Never will absorb it all!  However, here is one validating thing that Deborah STRESSED!!!  Lucy, this may or may not help you at all.....she said we are usually so focused on our goals...on the next level we want to get to...that we forget to REVEL IN THE LEVEL WE ARE AT AND MILK IT FOR ALL IT IS WORTH!!!!  She went on further to explain, that the simplest tunes, rendered with the best tone, emotion and insight we can play them with, touch our audience and ourselves in ways that a flawlessly performed piece of virtuosity cannot.  Basically, with my busy life, this is what I have been doing for the past 10 years- getting more comfortable and just plain better at the things I already know and love, while slowly adding more pieces to my memorized repertoire that I also love.    It was validating to me to hear that, and I am going with it!

The other piece of amazing news is health based.  For many years I had a snoring issue, that was kind of a joke in my family. If I was sharing a tent or motel room with a friend on those rare occasions, they would let me know they thought I actually stopped breathing, fairly often, along with the snoring.  Of course, I was still going full tilt so how bad could it be?!  Well, the last few years I have noticed an increasing constant fatigue, weight gain, waking up often at night, etc, and began trying a variety of over the counter remedies for the snoring....nose tape, mouth pieces, chin strap, etc.  Figured a lot was due to age.  Figured my metabolism was shot.  And I did not want to spend the money, take the time, etc on a "sleep study" that was not really necessary.  Stubborn.  By this past spring I knew I was in big trouble, and that falling asleep over my desk as I wrote payroll checks, falling asleep on page 2 of my book, falling asleep at the wheel, falling asleep while having a conversation with my dad in the afternoon, etc, was not good!  It finally hit me, that unless I was standing or eating (to keep energized, I guess) I was in danger of dropping off at a moments notice.  Or with no notice at all.  To say I was exhausted does not even come close.  I felt like the walking dead, and that was on a good day.  If I did not have responsibilities to fulfill, I could have stayed in bed 24 hours, continually, for a month, sleeping non stop....or trying to sleep, more like it. So I began to venture into this craziness of our fabulous health care system and get help- mid May I signed on with a new PCP and explained I was getting desperate and falling asleep at the wheel, etc....my first appointment with them was not until the end of July!  Sleep doc referral was not til the end of Sept! (I had already done the road trip to Lubec, Maine by then) and FINALLY a home sleep study done the Monday before Friday Oct 16th when I was due to leave for the 2 week road trip to North Carolina.  I planned the trip so I would not be on the road too many hours in one day, and would have plenty of time to pull over and snatch a quick nap if I was getting dozey.  I was in Norfolk, VA when the sleep doc tracked me down- told me I needed to make an appointment for the sleep center overnight test asap- as soon as I got back!  My oxygen levels apparently were sinking to 60% in the night, and they don't like it if you go below 90!  So- strict instructions to drink NO alcohol and try not to sleep on my back!  Yikes- now I was really nervous!  60% oxygen is really NOT GOOD and on a nightly basis!!  Yikes!!

Cut to the chase- had the sleep test with the cpap machine.  My nights without it averaged 87 sleep apnea episodes AN HOUR!  MOST of my O2 levels registered in the 80- 60 percent range most of the night.  I have been using the cpap for two weeks now, and I am averaging less than 4 episodes an hour now, and I feel like Lazarus emerging from the tomb!   It is nothing short of a miracle.  My body and brain are healing on a daily basis, and I cannot believe I survived as long as I did in the condition I was in.  Honestly, it has hit me that every time I was going to bed, I was playing Russian Roulette with my life.  Any one of those longer apnea episodes could have been my last.  And all because I was being stubborn and thought I could fix it myself. 

The fun side is, I was able to play the Coffee House that Pam and her hubby run the first Saturday of the month, doing extra songs as we had more time than usual, so relaxed and feeling sharp, while channeling all the good stuff I have recently discovered about performing- have fun, breathe, focus on the melody, etc.  It went really, really well!    Sharon on Oxygen!!  Look out!!

So- just celebrated birthday number 63 yesterday, and looking forward to family Thanksgiving next week.  I have MUCH to be thankful for!!  And you folks are part of my Blessings list!  Thank you for the insight, communication, encouragement and sharing.  Harp On!!!

Where Have I Been????

I hardly know how to explain my absence.  The guilt of a philanderer?  I've been working so hard on the concertina . . .  playing the harp a little bit here and there, but only just enough to keep things alive.  Is it because, um, it is just so much easier to pick up a little lunchbox-sized instrument that never needs tuning?  Shame on me!

Seriously, I started this blog for just this reason, this feeling that I had hit the wall and didn't know where to go next with the harp.   I can't seem to keep more than a few tunes alive at one time on the harp whereas on the concertina, it feels as though I have plenty of tunes tucked away now that I can bring out and revive in very short order.  Maybe I don't play them with any particular grace, but I can play them at a session and not make a fool of myself and have fun.  I am enjoying that part of the concertina so much.  Also the blending in--when you bring a harp into the room you raise a certain expectation.  I'm finding again and again that it is almost easier to play South Wind or Fanny Power or whatever, people love that as much (or even more) than if I play some more challenging tune . . .   

I promise I will keep coming back to write some more about this, Andee.  I just want to get something here so you know you haven't been abandoned! 

And I haven't given up playing the harp,  not at all, I still love it, it's just I am having trouble working out what my "goals" are,  whereas with the concertina it is so easy to set goals for having a couple of sets ready for this or that session.  It does help some that I have an (erstwhile) student.  Just one, a beginner but with real ability, but who hasn't quite committed herself to the whole thing even though she likes it, I think.  Not sure what will happen with that.  

November 2015

Amhran Na Leabhar

J

Jaysus!!!  Where the heck is everybody?  Am I alone in this blog now?